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Assertiveness for Earth Angels

Here’s a preview excerpt from my new favorite book which will be released in October, and which is available for pre-order now:

Earth Angels are obsessed with other people’s happiness. If anyone whom you love is unhappy, you become upset. You may blame yourself for their unhappiness, which creates the Earth Angel cycle of co-dependency, where your own happiness is dependent upon another’s. And since you can’t control other people’s happiness, you feel unable to predict or control your own happiness since it’s contingent upon others being happy.

Earth Angels are usually “conflict phobic,” meaning that they fear arguments and confrontations. Angry people are the opposite of happy people, to an Earth Angel. So if faced with an angry person, an Earth Angel will shut down and usually comply with the angry person’s wishes. Earth Angels feel like it’s their fault if someone’s unhappy or angry. They feel like they’ve failed in their mission to bring happiness to others. As a result, Earth Angels will do practically anything to keep the peace!

Their conflict phobia makes Earth Angels targets for manipulative people who take advantage of others’ niceness. Before they learn their Earthly lesson about holding boundaries, Earth Angels usually fall under the spell of narcissistic people who only care about their own needs. We’ll discuss this topic in depth throughout this book.

Earth Angels find themselves in a bind because their life purpose is to bring peace to the world. Earth Angels are lights sent from heaven to shine peace and happiness and lift others’ consciousness and vibrations. So Earth Angels are usually the world’s kindness, nicest, and gentlest people! In fact, they pride themselves on being sweet in the roughest of situations (although Earth Angels do lose their tempers when pushed to their limit).

Earth Angels view themselves as tough, even though they’re highly sensitive. They shoulder other people’s burdens and rarely ask for help from others. If help is offered, Earth Angels won’t accept it. They’re afraid of “bothering” anyone. An Earth Angel thinks: “If I allow this person to help me, I’m making them go to a lot of trouble which might result in them feeling tired or sad. I don’t want to inflict that on another person, so I’ll just do everything myself.”

Because Earth Angels can see everyone’s hidden potentials and inner light, they tend to overlook other people’s hurtful behavior – especially towards themselves. An Earth Angel will make excuses about someone who’s mistreating them. The Earth Angel will say, “Oh they didn't mean it, it wasn't that bad,” or “They were just having a bad day.” The person who’s acting hurtfully doesn't need to expend any effort in justifying their behavior, because the Earth Angel does it for them!

How is someone supposed to learn about the effects of their behavior if Earth Angels are constantly making excuses for them? How is a person supposed to take responsibility for their life, if Earth Angels are offering to do everything for them?

Earth Angels are here to bring more light into the world, not to enable people’s egocentric behavior! By constantly giving in all of their relationships, Earth Angels suffer from symptoms of imbalances, including:

Resentment. Feeling used for being nice, and not having the niceness reciprocated. This resentment builds up and becomes a toxic acidic energy which sours the Earth Angel and can lead to health consequences.

Fatigue. Constantly giving is draining on your time, energy, finances, and other resources. You may stay up late and get up early to have enough time to give to others.

Money Issues. Are you paying for everything? This is an unhealthy imbalance in your relationships.

Health Issues. Earth Angels develop serious health issues from their energy imbalances. These can range from skin issues (repressed anger) to weight issues (protecting yourself with body fat) to throat issues (fear of speaking up) to breast issues (nursing everyone until you’re drained).

If you have high self-esteem, you’ll choose relationships with nice people who won’t take advantage of you. However, most Earth Angels are attracted to unhappy people who need “fixing.” This gives the Earth Angels a sense of purpose.

You might meet truly nice people, but not notice or be attracted to them because they’re already healed. So your heart beats faster when you meet unhappy or angry people, because they present a challenge. “I can make him happy,” you unconsciously decide.

Other people can sense that you’re desperate for them to be happy. So they start to take advantage of you and depend upon you for their entertainment, support, and happiness. And when they’re unhappy (which is most of the time, because only they can give happiness to themselves and we’re unhappy when we’re taking advantage of someone else, or looking outside of ourselves for happiness), they blame you! And you then blame yourself and your light dims.

Part of your life’s purpose is learning how to have healthy boundaries with others. It’s about loving people in a way that’s healthy, instead of “enabling” them.

http://www.amazon.com/Assertiveness-Earth-Angels-Loving-Instead/dp/1401928803/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371087321&sr=1-1&keywords=assertiveness+for+earth+angels