Be More Confident....

On New Years Eve I went to the Dollar Store and got some of those river rocks in a bag people usually use in glass vases, or fish tanks..I had a more significant purpose..That nite I painted the rocks some Green...for healing, and some Purple...for power. I wrote down 7 things that I wish to shed from my self in the new year and some things I wish to gain...I wrote a abbreviated version on the stones, with a white paint pen....yeah make sure the paint is dry before you attempt to write on them...lol Next week I'm going to take them to the river and toss them in, symbolically washing away the old, and bringing to me blessing of the new year...I like doing hands on things like this it helps me send out my wishes, and helps me stay focused. One of the things I want to accomplish this year is being more confident.......in myself, in my thoughts, and in my own opinions... Yes I'm entitled to them, and I have to learn to not back down...without crying...lol A note on the pic...Kalin from Legend of the Seeker...luv that show...I'd like to be like her, strong, capable, and a total bad ass...smile

1. Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down. No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at. Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality.
2. Think back on compliments from other people. What have they told you about you that you otherwise haven't noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they've remarked on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations.

• Remember past accomplishments. It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go!
• Think about the qualities you try to cultivate. No one's perfect, but if you're actively trying to be an honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for effort. The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you're humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes.
• Now write down everything you can think of and refer back to it next time you're feeling down. Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing.2

Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence. Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? FYI, the answers are "no" and "yes," respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It doesn't!

• Here's an example: You didn't get good grades on your last math test, so as a result you're not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you studied really hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have absolutely ZERO reasons not to be confident.
• Remember that everyone struggles with confidence. Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You're not alone! And if you can think of someone who's confident, odds are there's a situation they're not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.
  • Here's a true fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking in things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you don't have to be perfect all the time.
  • Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You don't have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person in order to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you can't completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better.
  • See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement. Having confidence isn't a finish line you cross once, and the process won't always move forward — there will be days when you feel like you're starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you've already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you didn't do anything.
    • Odds are you won't really realize you're confident until you already are. Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So if you don't see immediate changes, know that it's just because you're too close to the painting. Can't see the forest through the trees, type of thing. You get it.
    • Get out of your head. A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -- swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Don't you want to be a part of it?
      • So much of the world exists outside your head (if we're going with the assumption that reality is as it seems). Constantly thinking about what you feel or look like takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what's in front of you -- there's probably something exciting about it.