I feel like in my family I'm the practical one...the girl who was supposed to stay at home and take care of the family...forsake her own life and do whats right for everyone else. These are truly harsh words for me to say...I know.. I actually hate to even utter them..they make me feel horrible for so many reasons... I hate myself for allowing others to dictate who I'm going to be?? I have so much resentment for others...and myself...I allowed it...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I shouldn't get a truck...It's not practical, to expensive...a silly idea. I shouldn't buy land, I shouldn't do anything...but waittttttttttttttttttttttttt.. Yet everyone else can do whatever they want and it's all good...Infuriating... Why do I have to be practical, why can't I just ever be crazy, risky....????????????????????
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