My Life....Is My Hillside

What???? The only thing to say is Yes...My life is My Hillside.. What does that mean...HMMMM. A interesting metaphor I came up with today while driving aimlessly in my car..Where did this come from? Well my friend had a hillside littered with junk and trash...To even think about clearing all the trash away was a overwhelming thought... A huge task to say the least.. But she has grandchildren, people who will lessen the burden of the hillside..Sigh.. Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed, so alone and lost. I feel the heaviness...as I'm sure all do of the unknown future..I'm not settled, I'm really not anything for certain?? My life isn't at all what I pictured it to be.. Time passes so quickly.. There's just never enough time.. My parents are older now 70's. My dad has had 3 surgeries in the last year in a half.. He's doing well right now...a blessing... It could always be worse...so much worse. I realize this. I've said before that I feel like I'm the daughter never meant for anything but duty, bound to a life that's not truly her own... And sometimes I'm ok with it..Like Mother Theresa says...to live your life for others is the best possible life. That that's the life you should lead...You should help others... Maybe I'm a tad bit selfish. I don't know. I'm jealous of other people and their lives. Why am I always so conflicted?? Never Happy...neverrrrrrrrrrrrr. My sister needs my help in her yard.. OK easy enough. She wants to do things that a team of 3 men should be doing....I'm one person...I AM ONE PERSON!! Sometimes I feel like shouting this to the roof tops..To everyone. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed too...sometimes it be nice if someone could help me...take care of me. Sometimes I wonder if there is anyone that I could rely on...I'm scared of what lies ahead for me.. Lord give me the strength to endure it. Help me to take one day at a time...and deal with whatever comes my way....